No-one Understands

No-one understands,
And no-one will,
Reason behind shaking hands,
Reason behind my panic fill.
I live in the present,
But stuck in the past,
With pressure I’m bent,
Still never answer when asked.
I try to explain,
Tried to show my pain,
They said its a game of brain,
Asked if I’m sane?
Making my efforts go in vain,
I told them the truth,
That I feel so depressed,
Not my will to waste my youth,
Still feeling so messed.
Unnecessary commotion gives me stress,
People said some evil I possess,
I don’t know whom I should address,
Locking doesn’t make pain less,
Blocking emotions not a game of chess,
Thought of suicide, I guess,
But with it couldn’t process.
Maybe some help will make me express,
Why am I feeling depress,
When peace is all I want to attain
I’m no different, I’m same,
Blood too flows through my vein,
Just want to break through negative chain.
No-one understands,
And no-one will ever do,
But I hope with some help,
I can overcome this too.

-Ava Tripathy

“You say you’re ‘depressed’ – all I see is resilience. You are allowed to feel messed up and inside out. It doesn’t mean you’re defective – it just means you’re human.”

― David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas

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Published by Ava Tripathy

Let me introduce myself, I'm a human searching for reality without losing morality. My name is Ava, more precisely Ava Tripathy, the face behind the blog Avem. Humorist Indian by Nature and Sarcasm in Vein. Unpredictable and absolutely a philosophical one.

3 thoughts on “No-one Understands

  1. Uniting forever through an awesome call,
    A mission we reach forever and for all ,
    Whatever we find , we can recall,
    It is a splendid joy to take this role ,
    sparking a rainbow light above control,
    Far through eternity of a heavenly soul…
    Stars do shine beautifully overall…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. How Low Will Hell Come To Be in One

    UNiVeRSE of A Human Experience

    How High Will Heaven Bloom to

    FLoWeR in One UNiVeRSE

    Of A Human Experience

    Generally Speaking

    Only Poetry

    And Other
    Arts like that Famous
    Painting of ‘Scream’ Will

    Relate The Rings of Poet Dante’s
    Hell or William Blake’s Description:
    “To see a World in a Grain of Sand
    And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
    Hold Infinity in the palm of your
    hand And Eternity in an hour. ”

    Readings Dante’s Rings of Hell
    And Blakes Heaven i Feel There
    Are Humans Who Have come close

    To Both The Heaven and Hell i’ve

    Experienced in my Life For Real…

    Yet of Course Similarly i am diagnosed
    With Bi-Polar Non-Specified As With the
    Asperger’s More Left Brained Restricted
    Analytical Reasoning Mind i Am Naturally

    Born With
    Greatest
    Extremes

    of Yin

    And Yang

    Conditions that
    Balance Each Other
    Out Without Having to Take
    Drugs to Regulate my Emotions
    And Integrate my Senses Yet i wasn’t
    Diagnosed Fully Until age 53 After my Doctors

    Saw me in the Heaven Place After Spending 66 Months
    in HeLL ON Earth Within With Just about Every Mind and Body
    Left Threatening Disorder in Synergy Then That Demons Would

    Surely

    Dare Not
    Tread in the
    Place of A Thousand
    Years of Hell in One Second
    Where All there is is Time All There is
    is Time Just Time Just Time All Pain and Numb Time…

    On The Other Hand Now i am a River For Close to 99 Months Who Flows
    to Endless Waves of Ocean Whole Water Enough Naked Complete Enough Now

    Voila!

    Heaven the
    Place i Master
    For Real Within Now

    What’s The Price?

    15,518 Miles of
    Free Flowing
    Meditating
    Autotelic
    Public
    Dance
    Close to
    9.8 MiLLioN
    Words of Free
    Verse Poetry
    Meditating
    Flowing too
    in Close to
    98 Months too

    So Very Healing
    Through and
    Through
    Regulating
    Emotions
    All Feelings
    Integrating
    Senses Fully
    Balancing Now

    Graduating

    From Deepest

    Depths of Hell

    Rings That Dante

    Would Have Never
    Comprehended in His ‘Book of Hell’…

    Have Folks Gone Lower Perhaps..

    Have Folks Gone Higher Perhaps…

    For Each Human UniVerse is Unique
    And Only one Set of God EYeS Creating
    Our Unique UniVerses Indeed i am the Kind of

    Person a Psychotherapist Might and Has come
    to me for Advice to Treat their Most Difficult Cases…

    Sadly in Your Country Mental Illness Is Still a Stigma

    And Of course in Part Generated By All the Stress of Do or Die

    Escaping Poverty and the Such at the Top of the Class Meeting

    Cultural Norms Like ‘Getting Married as Instructed by Parents’

    And So Many Other Stresses of Life that Yes Makes Life

    Itself

    Almost

    Impossible
    to Breathe Free

    And if You Fall Down

    That’s Even More Stigma

    To admit You Need Help TO SAVE YOUR LIFE…

    IT’S NOT THAT DIFFERENT here really as even

    In the Psychiatry and Psychotherapy Field i’ve Actually

    Heard ‘Them’ Say Folks With “Borderline Personality Disorder”
    Are Lost Causes And Just Drop Them Out Your Life like Toxic Waste

    Yet the Truth is They may have

    Been the Little Girl Cowering

    Under Her Bed Where the

    One She Should Have

    Been Able to Trust

    Most with Love

    Abused Her Regularly
    in the Most Disgusting
    Ways Imaginable to Most
    Human Beings And Of course
    The Cycle of Hell May Have Started
    At The Beginning of the Broken Human
    Inflicting Hell on Their Child… Life is Very Messy

    Life is Very Very Very Messy Full of Stone Souls

    And Souls Who have Risen Out of Stone to Flower too…

    Mercy

    Mercy

    Mercy

    For All of the
    Unwanted Toys
    of Humanity indeed…
    And Hopefully Someone
    Who At Least Relates to Where
    The Human Soul Travels to Below and Above…

    i’ve Often Wondered if You are Okay And i realize
    the Most any FRiEnD Who Has Been to Most of
    The Places Humans Will Come and Go Will Stay

    Around

    Just to
    Hold the
    Weight of the
    World Light As
    A Feather is Light
    or Dark As The Darkest
    Stone Weighs Down our Souls…

    SMiles Ava i’m Well Aware of the Kind of Struggle’s
    Budding And Blooming CPA’s in India go through to survive…

    Stay Strong

    As You Will

    Still Come to
    Be with Joy too…

    Whether or Not this
    Is Personal Related or Total Fictional…

    i Rarely if Ever Write Fiction as Generally
    Speaking i haven’t read anything like my life so far…

    That’s Good in A Way

    That’s Bad in a Way

    That and

    This Is what
    It is Just Life For Real
    This Breath Inhaling
    Peace This Breath Exhaling
    Love Indeed Sweet Release Free Now..:)

    Like

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