No-one understands,
And no-one will,
Reason behind shaking hands,
Reason behind my panic fill.
I live in the present,
But stuck in the past,
With pressure I’m bent,
Still never answer when asked.
I try to explain,
Tried to show my pain,
They said its a game of brain,
Asked if I’m sane?
Making my efforts go in vain,
I told them the truth,
That I feel so depressed,
Not my will to waste my youth,
Still feeling so messed.
Unnecessary commotion gives me stress,
People said some evil I possess,
I don’t know whom I should address,
Locking doesn’t make pain less,
Blocking emotions not a game of chess,
Thought of suicide, I guess,
But with it couldn’t process.
Maybe some help will make me express,
Why am I feeling depress,
When peace is all I want to attain
I’m no different, I’m same,
Blood too flows through my vein,
Just want to break through negative chain.
No-one understands,
And no-one will ever do,
But I hope with some help,
I can overcome this too.
-Ava Tripathy
“You say you’re ‘depressed’ – all I see is resilience. You are allowed to feel messed up and inside out. It doesn’t mean you’re defective – it just means you’re human.”
― David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas
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Avem 
Uniting forever through an awesome call,
A mission we reach forever and for all ,
Whatever we find , we can recall,
It is a splendid joy to take this role ,
sparking a rainbow light above control,
Far through eternity of a heavenly soul…
Stars do shine beautifully overall…
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How Low Will Hell Come To Be in One
UNiVeRSE of A Human Experience
How High Will Heaven Bloom to
FLoWeR in One UNiVeRSE
Of A Human Experience
Generally Speaking
Only Poetry
And Other
Arts like that Famous
Painting of ‘Scream’ Will
Relate The Rings of Poet Dante’s
Hell or William Blake’s Description:
“To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your
hand And Eternity in an hour. ”
Readings Dante’s Rings of Hell
And Blakes Heaven i Feel There
Are Humans Who Have come close
To Both The Heaven and Hell i’ve
Experienced in my Life For Real…
Yet of Course Similarly i am diagnosed
With Bi-Polar Non-Specified As With the
Asperger’s More Left Brained Restricted
Analytical Reasoning Mind i Am Naturally
Born With
Greatest
Extremes
of Yin
And Yang
Conditions that
Balance Each Other
Out Without Having to Take
Drugs to Regulate my Emotions
And Integrate my Senses Yet i wasn’t
Diagnosed Fully Until age 53 After my Doctors
Saw me in the Heaven Place After Spending 66 Months
in HeLL ON Earth Within With Just about Every Mind and Body
Left Threatening Disorder in Synergy Then That Demons Would
Surely
Dare Not
Tread in the
Place of A Thousand
Years of Hell in One Second
Where All there is is Time All There is
is Time Just Time Just Time All Pain and Numb Time…
On The Other Hand Now i am a River For Close to 99 Months Who Flows
to Endless Waves of Ocean Whole Water Enough Naked Complete Enough Now
Voila!
Heaven the
Place i Master
For Real Within Now
What’s The Price?
15,518 Miles of
Free Flowing
Meditating
Autotelic
Public
Dance
Close to
9.8 MiLLioN
Words of Free
Verse Poetry
Meditating
Flowing too
in Close to
98 Months too
So Very Healing
Through and
Through
Regulating
Emotions
All Feelings
Integrating
Senses Fully
Balancing Now
Graduating
From Deepest
Depths of Hell
Rings That Dante
Would Have Never
Comprehended in His ‘Book of Hell’…
Have Folks Gone Lower Perhaps..
Have Folks Gone Higher Perhaps…
For Each Human UniVerse is Unique
And Only one Set of God EYeS Creating
Our Unique UniVerses Indeed i am the Kind of
Person a Psychotherapist Might and Has come
to me for Advice to Treat their Most Difficult Cases…
Sadly in Your Country Mental Illness Is Still a Stigma
And Of course in Part Generated By All the Stress of Do or Die
Escaping Poverty and the Such at the Top of the Class Meeting
Cultural Norms Like ‘Getting Married as Instructed by Parents’
And So Many Other Stresses of Life that Yes Makes Life
Itself
Almost
Impossible
to Breathe Free
And if You Fall Down
That’s Even More Stigma
To admit You Need Help TO SAVE YOUR LIFE…
IT’S NOT THAT DIFFERENT here really as even
In the Psychiatry and Psychotherapy Field i’ve Actually
Heard ‘Them’ Say Folks With “Borderline Personality Disorder”
Are Lost Causes And Just Drop Them Out Your Life like Toxic Waste
Yet the Truth is They may have
Been the Little Girl Cowering
Under Her Bed Where the
One She Should Have
Been Able to Trust
Most with Love
Abused Her Regularly
in the Most Disgusting
Ways Imaginable to Most
Human Beings And Of course
The Cycle of Hell May Have Started
At The Beginning of the Broken Human
Inflicting Hell on Their Child… Life is Very Messy
Life is Very Very Very Messy Full of Stone Souls
And Souls Who have Risen Out of Stone to Flower too…
Mercy
Mercy
Mercy
For All of the
Unwanted Toys
of Humanity indeed…
And Hopefully Someone
Who At Least Relates to Where
The Human Soul Travels to Below and Above…
i’ve Often Wondered if You are Okay And i realize
the Most any FRiEnD Who Has Been to Most of
The Places Humans Will Come and Go Will Stay
Around
Just to
Hold the
Weight of the
World Light As
A Feather is Light
or Dark As The Darkest
Stone Weighs Down our Souls…
SMiles Ava i’m Well Aware of the Kind of Struggle’s
Budding And Blooming CPA’s in India go through to survive…
Stay Strong
As You Will
Still Come to
Be with Joy too…
Whether or Not this
Is Personal Related or Total Fictional…
i Rarely if Ever Write Fiction as Generally
Speaking i haven’t read anything like my life so far…
That’s Good in A Way
That’s Bad in a Way
That and
This Is what
It is Just Life For Real
This Breath Inhaling
Peace This Breath Exhaling
Love Indeed Sweet Release Free Now..:)
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Powerful words. Depression, a process of discovery
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